Odd thing, I nearly forgot to visit Ann's grave today. It was a terrible shock, realising the time. What does that mean?

I usually visit early every morning. I cycle down. I talk to her.

Whenever I used to leave for work, I would call up to our bedroom window: "Lots of love, darling. Ciao." It was a ritual, a superstition, always observed. Without overt agreement, we never used the word 'goodbye' to one another.

Now, when I leave her graveside, I call back to her: "Lots of love, darling. Ciao."